I'm given a choice to think about race.

The last few weeks have given me opportunities to think about and have conversations about issues related to race in our society. It started a month ago at a conference in LA with 2 collegues and faculty and adminstrators from across the country discussing Inclusive Excellence in Higher Education, follwed by conversations with friends and family about the election and the potential that our country would elect a black president, followed by a historic election, followed by a backlash from the election and harassment happening on my campus and others across the country, followed by a conference with students regarding multicultral experiences on Christian campuses, and finally followed by conversations with conference attendees and colleagues on campus. All of these experiences are built on top of three years of progressive learning about racial issues and my own journey. My head is full. I want a break. I'm increasingly aware of brokeness of our society, of the hurt students and colleagues of color experience on our campus and in society, of my privilege and my own racial prejudices, of the social construct of race and how deep are the scars from slavery in our country. As I learn more and more, I see my awareness means I need to take action. But, I want a break.

This last week was the first time I was fully aware that I get the choice whether or not I want to think about race. It's a part of my white privilege. Because I want a break, I can take a break. It's not the same for my friends who aren't white. Their struggle is constant. Their experience never allows for a break. I'm given the choice whether or not to be passionate about this subject and about whether or not I want to challenge others' thinking and about whether or not I even want to think about race.

I realize this concept of my ability to think about race or not is not new. But, I feel like I'm just now experiencing it at a deep level for the first time. Now what do I do? And, can I take a break first?